hate that i miss you.

Well, this is going to be hard for me to write.. but I need to get feelings out occasionally...

It's really hurt, I dont expect he will read this, but its a truth, and I need to write this..

I MISS YOU... I miss u so much.

I miss u so much, that i'd give away all I had just to talk with u again...

u were everything to me... :(

positive thinking...? i cant.

I felt my heart ripped out of my chest and world turned upside after the CLASH. At the time, a close friend advised, “Positive thinking, Ayuni – it’s what will get you through this.”

I nodded and while I loved her care and best intentions, I wanted to scream, “Are you kidding me? Haven’t you ever lost love in your life? Don’t you understand your advice to think positively is an impossible mission??”

You may have friends and family that mean well, but give you the advice to embrace positive thinking. The problem is that our mind has a tendency to play a soundtrack of negative thoughts and put that soundtrack on repeat..

Sorry friends. I CANT do it ;(

aku ingin mencintaiMU (copied from sukasukisakan)

Tuhan betapa aku malu
atas semua yang Kau beri
padahal diriku terlalu sering membuat-MU kecewa

Entah mungkin karna ku terlena
sementara Engkau beri aku kesempatan
berulang kali
agar aku kembali

dalam fitrahku sebagai manusia untuk
menghamba pada-MU
betapa tak ada apa-apanya
aku dihadapan-MU

Aku ingin mencintai-MU
setulusnya
sebenar-benar aku cinta
dalam doa
dalam ucapan
dalam setiap langkahku
aku ingin mendekatimui-MU
selamanya
sehina apapun diriku
kuberharap
untuk bertemu dengan-MU
ya Rabbi......